Being here is not where I thought I would be just a few months ago. I never dreamed I would lose a beloved brother as I have done. That being said, it is as it is and I am standing here not to bury my brother Tom, but to celebrate his life and honor him for what he was to me.

For the first years of my life, Tom and I shared the usual sibling love-hate bond. Then we decided to just love each other when he went into the service. He taught me what it was to love one’s country and to do what one could to serve it as he did honorably through being in the Navy Seabees and then as we both chose to do as truckers.

Tom was much more than my big brother. He was my hero, the head of my family, a job he took seriously, the one constant in my life and the rock I could stand on to try to keep my feet on the best path to achieve success. He was my best friend and while at times he had to pick me up, dust me off and then give me a swift kick in the backside to keep me straight, he always gave me unconditional love. I looked forward to the rare occasions when I received some award or success to hear him say, “Outstanding!!!” He never failed me in doing so.

Tom was a big teaser and loved to tell jokes, stories and to tickle people. I always thought him to be like a big overgrown puppy who wanted people to like him. He could be annoying at times with his so called trucker tales and in his teasing and tickling. Sometimes he would forget that I was a trucker too and would tell me the most outrageous story about trucking that I knew was bogus. I would laugh at him then as he scrambled trying to make me believe his story was true.

I remember clearly one time that I was visiting him in California and he and his sons got me against the wall and were tickling me. They would not quit and I could not breathe for laughing so hard. I was starting to black out so reached out and grabbed him where perhaps I shouldn’t have and took him to his knees. It stopped his tickling that day and earned me his nickname for me…Squiggles. Being my big brother, I of course had to allow him to tickle me a little when he was around, but after that all I had to do was stick my hand out like I was going to grab him again and he would stop…we would both laugh. A sister has to do what a sister has to do sometimes.

If there was one thing that Tom did well, it was to love his family. Coming from the background he did, sometimes he may not have shown that love like others would have, but he did the best he could. His wife and sons were the center of his life and the reason he did all the things he did. Our brothers were loved by Tom as was our mother and aunts and uncles, even if at times as in any family, misunderstandings occurred…Tom had a great sense of family.

I wrote something that Tom really liked when I read it to him, he gave me an “Outstanding!“ on it, as it showed how he believed in some ways and gloried in as he drove around the country. I would like to share that with you now.

Prayer for a Friend

I drive through the mist tinged dawn listening to the silence broken only by the sound of the engine and the whistling of the wind, I look out through my windows as the rising sun reveals the glorious vision that the Father and the Mother have made. Absorbing the calm beauty of the mirrored lake perfectly reflecting back it's tree covered shores and islands framed by the bluish purple hills of Eastern Oklahoma, I thank them for giving me the eyes to see this beauty and for the heart to appreciate Their gifts.

While I talk to Them, I thank Them too for making it so our paths converged, Them knowing that in some fashion we have need for the gifts They have given us to share with each other. I ask Them to give you a glimpse of beauty today, perhaps a bird's trilling song, the jeweled colors of a butterfly's wing or the simple sound of a child's joyous laughter. If They grant this bequest of mine for you, even though we are miles apart we can be together in our appreciation of Their wonderful creation.

The father and mother made it so Tom and my paths converged. I thank them for that because without Tom having been in my life, I would not have become what I am today. I hold in my heart that at some time, in some place, in some body, our paths will converge once again…I will miss you every day until then big brother!